Just when the social media bandwagon is bursting to full, I’ve quietly jumped off the back and waved goodbye as it continues barreling down the tracks. I’m like that though…. I’m the girl who purposely finds the quietest corner of the museum while everyone else pushes through the crowds to see what they are ‘supposed’ to see. I like the quiet corners where you can actually hear yourself think.
So, a few weeks ago I quietly walked away from my facebook, twitter and instagram accounts. I’m not saying that all my ideas are brilliant, or that all my decisions are final set in stone until the end of time, and certainly not that they are necessarily right for everyone…. but for now it’s been the right thing, for me.
I’ve been wanting to write about it, about my decision, but I’ve struggled to pinpoint exactly what I’ve been wanting to say. You know and expect me to say that it has been fantastic not being on there (yes, it definitely has been for me). I think when it comes down to it, I was tired. Tired of shouting and the constant noise, tired of living online, playing the game… tired of constantly thinking about it. Tired of the only way of communicating with my friends being through reading their status updates. Tired of looking around and seeing everyone on their phones (no judgment intended here, I do it too as much as I hate it). Tired of feeling like the whole point of it boiled down to trying to get people to like me, hoping hoping hoping they’d like me. That was high school, and I’m 28 now. I want to move on from that way of thinking. It’s time to move on from that, right?
But I think when it comes down to it, I realized that really, all I want to do with my work is to make something honest, something that might speak to someone else, that might give them hope or happiness or courage. Not only with my work, but with my life really. I want to give that to the world, rather than spending my time trying to sell something to the world, and that’s what all those outlets have mostly become for me.
And oh, I’ve worried about it. I’ve worried about whether this will hurt my business. I’ve worried what people will think or say, of course I have. I’ve worried that without constantly promoting myself on all these things, no one will ever want to hire me again. That people will forget I’m there. And maybe that will happen and I’ll have to come back to it at some point, or figure out a way to be on social media in a way that is ok with me. But for now I’ve got to believe that just because things appear to operate a certain way, that doesn’t mean that’s the way the world must work….
So for now, if you need me, you can still find me in that quiet corner of the museum — you can come sit with me on the bench and we could look at the art and have a real conversation, face to face, heart to heart. I’d love that :) Yes, this might not work, I might not be successful, but hey I’m going to try. I’ll still be updating the blog as regularly as I can with what we’re up to with our work and personally, and of course there’s still a ton of ways you can get a hold of us too. I will still be checking social media from time to time to make sure I’m not ignoring if someone’s trying to talk to me on there, and who knows, maybe I’ll have something to share or say at some point. There’s really no telling. But honestly you guys, it has felt so good feeling free of all that.
This is something I’ve been thinking about for a long long time, so thanks as always for taking the time to read and to listen. xo, jenn
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(because a post isn’t a post without some images, a few of our own personal snaps from the month of September :) )
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by JENN
Athena - You are brave and courageous and living YOUR OWN life. And that doesn’t go unnoticed, Jenn. Not even a little. And there will never be repercussions – at least beyond perceived ones – for being exactly who you are. <3
I officially need your skype name, your phone number, and a date on the calender to sit in silence – interspersed with quiet conversation – in the most remote corner of any museum anywhere.
xo
Caz Lee - this is just outstanding. love your words. agree with your stance. hope I can grow these sorts of balls soon. enjoy not being exhausted by the rat race! xx
Andrea - Hey Jenn… I’m so proud and inspired by your post and in you just being true to yourself! No word of a lie I’ve recently been contemplating the same thing. It’s draining and an unfulfilling cycle that we get wrapped up in. I guess I just haven’t had the strength to really free myself from it as of yet. I’m encouraged by reading your post though :)
Isn’t it more important to be truly living a life that’s worth writing about then focusing on how to convince others our lives are interesting, trying to be popular, or simply hoping that we’re being “liked” as you note. I know I struggle with this battle all the time and at the end of the day I have countless hours I will never regain spent on worthless activities such as these. When one day my time time comes, I can assure you I wont be saying “I wish I spent more time on Facebook.” I will certainly be wishing I spent more of my life actually really living each moment. You are inspiring Jenn and I miss you guys! Well done on your recent decision to free yourself on the tiredness of it all. Lots of love to you and Dave :)
Cristina - Perfectly said! I’m feeling inspired by your words :D And I’d like to be your friend! :) I think people crave person-to-person interaction and social media gives you that illusion but that’s all it is.. an illusion of contact. Some see it .. some don’t.
Anda - I love what you wrote and I love what Andrea commented. I agree that so many people (myself included) spend their present moments thinking of what they will say about it on FB. Thinking and living our lives through status updates … through convincing others our lives are important or that we were there/did that etc. I’ve loved our conversations about this in recent past. I enjoyed every heartbeat off my month off FB last year. So I understand your current freedom. You are such a kindred spirit. Love you.
Jen - Love the way you described this, especially the shouting and the noise. I totally get that! Love you friend!!
Kathryn Denelle Stevens - I just finished reading this and I am crying…Because, hearing your description of what it feels like …is what I am longing for…freedom…connecting with people face to face (or at least on Skype ;) ) getting away from the crowd…these are all things I desperately want/need! I thought I had gotten to that point in my life…I certainly didn’t feel the need to play that kind of game in high school or college and mostly, as an adult (in my real life, anyway) But since starting a business, it has been this battle to try to get people to “like” me…it’s a futile effort! And, I would hope that the people who truly “like” me have shown that offline…and I hope I have done the same for them. I a fearful I haven’t been though. In fact, I know I have neglected the people that matter the most to me, because of social media. It’s sad, really. I’m not sure I can just hop off the bandwagon though…I just read Andrea’s comment though, and she is so right. I don’t want my life to be made up of status updates..or thinking about which witty status updates I’ll post next!! Thank you guys SO much for this!!! p.s. Let’s talk soon IRL, shall we?
Colleen / Inspired to Share - This is so admirable and I completely relate to everything you said. It really is an exhausting cycle and I really respect you listening and staying true to yourself! Enjoy the time away! xo
ZWP - I feel I can really understand what you’re talking about. So I’m a bit sad to hear less of you but since you said the blog corner of the museum will still be opened, I’m glad I’ll still be able to enjoy your amazing talent.
I think that what really mattered in this process was that the decision felt like right to you and maybe, that’s the only thing that matters after all.
Take care, and hope to meet you sometimes in your quiet corner :-)
Holly - we are 2 very different people, but yet so very much the same. I applaud you for this… so much! thankful for our face-to-face time, it’s well worth the travel :) xo
Kelly Siler - amen. can’t wait to see your faces in real life SO soon!
christina elston - totally.
I’m done with the noise.
And just sticking with enjoying a handful of blogs, while focusing on my own strenghts/weaknesses- all the while, tuning out the distractions.
Chris - Woooo!!! Such an awesome post, Jenn. And also, that canoe shot is AWESOME! :)
Love you guys! Hope we can hang again soon.
Chris
Tammy Lyon - so so true.. I personally find twitter fun, but generally overwhelming. Facebook is my personal time waster. I’m an old school girl at heart, and choose not to have a cell phone to control the constant natter, and give me myself forced balance. Good for you brave girl, there is a whole new world out there for you.
the noise | - [...] Jenn Stark wrote about the same topic, and she also inspired me to write this post. I love this letter that F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote to his daughter about ‘things to worry about’ and ‘things not to worry about’. A great post by Brittni that I could really relate to (and her #1 secret to success). More about success…secrets of the world’s most powerful women on Forbes. [...]
Sunday Stumble… | Rachael Phillips • Lifestyle Blog - [...] Would you jump off the social media bandwagon? – The Day I Decided to Stop [...]
ON DECIDING TO STOP (AN UPDATE ON OUR ADVENTURE OF TRYING TO LIVE A MORE SIMPLE & PRESENT LIFE AWAY FROM SOCIAL MEDIA) » JENN & DAVE STARK » southern ontario documentary wedding + life photographers - [...] fall I wrote a piece about stepping away from social media and I realized that I never properly gave an update as to how the change has been going over the [...]